Immigration
We should close our boarders, no more immigration
Immigration
is something that’s brought up in most of the countrys right now, a hot topic.
This immigration increase terrorist attacks and other crimes in every country,
that’s why we should close our boarders. The immigrants cause a lot of bad
influence to specially young kids with their behave. Most people also doesn’t
even work they just live on state money. Not everyone does that, some people
also work but that’s not too many.
There has
as well been a lot of terrorist attacks lately in countrys like France, Sweden
and Germany for example where a truck drove into a huge amount of people. The
people who did this was immigrants. All this could easily go away if we just
closed the boarders. We serve these people more than we serve our own.
It’s an overall well put text. It has a good Title that’s well connected to the Thesis. The introduction is good but short, I would have filled it up a little bit more and change a few words around.
SvaraRaderaThe whole text might be a bit short and doesn’t contain any counter arguments. The ending should be a bit clearer and try to find other words for example you say
“Germany for example where a truck drove into a huge amount of people” you can instead say something like, where a truck drove into a big crowd of people and not huge amount. That was just an example.
Look over the text once more and make intro, thesis and ending a bit longer. Try also to fit in a few counter arguments and you’re good to go.
Good job Philip.
Review by Pontus Svensson 15baa